The Stars and Stairs Shenanigan

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Funny picture of the day - The Stars and stairs shenanigan

Good day my fine friends

Ooooooo Heck! this was a catastrophe I shall relate to the best of my recall, yours, totally innocent in all this, truly had been anticipating a starring role in an upcoming major production so had paid a visit to my agent Isaac Howboy, the world renowned, mainly I believe for having prophetic parents, 'agent to the stars' to notify him of, clearly a postal blunder resulting in, the fact I had not received a script, and why! only found out by coincidental chance that an apparent other, obviously lesser therefore disastrously decided, star was to be cast.

Well yours, intent on extracting a satisfactory illumination as to the state of affairs, truly arrived just in time to, yes I admit, painfully witness a disturbingly, to others in pursuit of the motion picture path, handsome and charismatic chap sign a contractual, pleasure to be bound to, obligation to take on the, life changing, fame thrusting, drowning in dollar dosh coveted by all and expected by moi, part. Well fate had fortunately for him placed the obstacle of postal negligence in my path as despite his noticeable charms yours unbelievably handsome and talented was clearly the intended choice for this choice casting.

My good old agent, 'to the stars' the hapless Howboy, did proclaim, why LemMe come forth and congratulate this, unbelievingly handsome and charismatic soon to be luminary, luvvy where were you LemMe I would have dared to bet a dollar the part was yours, Why! Lemon, oops, a mere slip of my acidy humoured tongue, LemMe, dash off to the 7-11 and bring back something sparkling and a bite to eat, and by sparky I don’t mean a spangly new knife with which to pare any sour grapes or stab this lucky lad literally in the back, ha! Ha!

But the clearly thankless thespian did say sorry Isaac I have to dash, must go and gloat, I mean spread the impatient word along the vine of the aforementioned sour fruit ha ha and with that did hop it.

Well yours, grinning and bearing it, admittedly, most painfully, truly did make my excuses and depart also, with the sole intent of, in good grace, congratulating the fortunate fame chasing choice on whom the gods had smiled most graciously, for which I’m surprised they found the time as it seemed they be relentlessly spent laughing at moi.

Well I did follow and did catch the newest cast, that did outcast the peoples choice, upon the stairs and did think what a pleasant surprise he would find it if I did graciously deliver a congratulatory patting upon his back why he would be delighted nay! grateful for such grace so yours truly did bestow, I swear on my notable honour a not too hefty and apparently unexpected, pat on the to soon to be star studded shoulders, well what happened next not even Nostradamus could have envisaged as the Gods appeared to be now laughing out loud at the ingratiate as he did tumble headfirst down the stairway in total contradicion to the anticipated climbing of stairways to heaven bound glory.

Well yours truly did harbour an instant notion to hop it in case non would swallow the innocent intent but decided heroically to assist so did climb down the endless steps and tell the, admirably contorted, why it might be part of a versatile repertoire, young manthat I would seek necessary assistance. I did espy the telephone located at the base of the offending steps and make a call for emergency aid but incredulously I must have in my haste misdialled and did apparently call a local monger of fish who I might add was not only a thoroughly charming but highly informative chap and I spent 15 pleasurable minutes in amiable communication and what I don’t now know about fish well tis nobody's business, I swear I could perform 101 different practises with any sea meat from tuna to bass, or their, I used to feel until now better informed, offending offal, I confess to being miffed that I did miss one last little nugget of info due to the impatient patient who did interrupt the congenial chit chat with I thought, rather aggressive and I’m sure could be considered, insulting demands for attention

Well I told my new found mentor mate I had to go as impatience did call but did intently inform him I would most definitelycall back regarding the missed advice and subsequently made the call for the necessary assistance assistant and then did start to wend back to my whinging ward but all the talk of tasty sea treats had made my innards gripe so I informed the mumbling moaning Minnie I would just dash for a snack and what might I enquire would entice his appetite, well the ungrateful cad did grab my ankle, a result of which I did take my own, I swear intended by said cad, tumble and, near make, but thankfully not, joint contact of my handsome visage and an angularly hostile table, placed strategically for the purpose of bearing theatrical literary news notices to catch the peripheral and cursory glance of passing thespians and the like.

Well the, apparently still in possession of Herculean arms despite the temporary loss of legged activity and fallen already before his anticipated rise, star did grasp and pull my delicate form in a manner that did forewarn doom, therefore I gratefully seized the leg of the literary bearing tableau and did cling as if, which I think it was, my life was dependant on its presence but the cad had, as previously stated, Herculean strength in his upper torso and yours, firmly aprehended, truly was shimmied side to side and back and forth as a result of the vengeful grip. Well! curses, and worse than curses, were bandied at yours, quaking, truly and I fear the shaking of fear did radiate and contribute to an imbalance of the literary stand which did quake uncontrollably and an ornament of, under different circumstance pleasant contemporary style, but unfortunately for now hefty form did loom towards my pitifully placed, and definitely Star-crossed, Star-form and yours, consequently oblivious, recalls nothing further, except to say my dear old mom received a terse communication as to my unfortunate and un-sympathised with whereabouts and did faithfully retrieve me as only a dear old mom would.

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